densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
"Bushcronium." Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75
deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic
mass of 311. These particles are held together by dark forces called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of of lepton-like
particles called peons. The symbol for Bushcronium is "W". Bushcronium's
mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with
various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons
in a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes. This characteristic of
moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is
formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". When
catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element that
radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise,
since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.
