You have been warned.
As part of the recent work being done for the Coalition, it was decided that its' about damn time The New Coalition creates a real intelligence service. Assorted smaller, state-run groups like "Azguardian Special Services", "The Black Hand", and the loose network of ex-rebels from Jan Dondana exist, but the decision was made to meld them together into an effective, single entity. With lower military expectations and a variety of cultures and locations now in the New Coalition, Intelligence was the best line of defence for the Coalition, and as such, their best man was put in charge.
Well, if there was a best man. As it was, few if any New Coalitionists have shown extraordinary skill in Intelligence. Most would have trouble with your average literacy test. So, after a laborious interview process, an ex-politician from Anoat called Ferguson Mumphs was chosen to head this new Intelligence service, for his impressive work on Anoat keeping smuggling and piracy under control. A grumpy man, rather large and balding ever so slightly, he was known on Anoat for his ingenious use of limited resources, once catching a drug shipment with nothing but an elastic band and two pieces of gum.
Put at the top of the chain of command, under him was placed all the members of the smaller intelligence wings, reconstituted into wings depending on their specialization.
Currently, Commander Mumphs sits in his head office of the newly-minted Coalition Intelligence Bureau, the CIB.
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"I don't believe these orders!" Mumphs shouted, throwing the folder against the wall. "Do they even know what an intelligece service does?"
Karen Calypso, now a top official of the 'International Affairs and Events' wing, raised a curious eyebrow. "What is it now?"
"After scraping the money together to form an intelligence service, what is our first order? 'Look out for threats and terrorists and the like, we'll check back in a week'. What the hell does that mean? Is that all?"
Karen shrugged "I guess so. Don't get too worked up, New Coalition orders and officials are known for being a little vague."
Mumphs sighed "I guess you're right. At least we've got free reign. The only restrictions they've put on us is the constitution, which baisically says we can't kill people or hide in their houses and record their every movment - without a court order."
Karen raised an eyebrow "We can get a court order to kill people."
"No" said Mumphs, "I meant the hiding bit"
"Ah, ok."
"So" said Mumphs, rising from his seat and rubbing his hands together "You've finished the roster of all our assets and goals?"
"Yes sir, the agents are all listed here, along with their specialization and present location. All our equipment, funds, stations and the like are also listed on the second page. A packet of information is in the back with all the information we have so far on foreign governments, international concerns, and security issues."
"Excellent" said Mumphs, and he looked over the stack of papers. He was pleased to see he had several hundred field operatives split into multiple branches, like substance control, Internal security, espionage, tacticals, and the like. There was also a substantial listing of shuttles, ships, gear, cameras, networks, computers, anything the modern Intelligence service could want.
"A fine body of men and women, right sir?" said Karen.
"Fine, maybe" said Mumphs, putting down the clipboard "But they'll have to be a lot better then that if they hope to stand a chance against some of the missions I've got planned for them. Dismissed, for now, Miss Calypso, I have work to do."