The Rebel Faction

The House was full of the sound of bustling. Commities and subcommities discussed and debated, pausing only to vote on each others' legislature. Aides tried to keep up with the flow of notes, reports, and policy. The buffet table was running dangerously low on food. And at the head of all of it, Regrad and his ministers sat like a panel of judges, calling out orders, reviewing legislature, offering suggestions, and working together a list of policy priorities.

"...Ok then" said Regrad as he took down another note "We are agreed, the trouble on Anoat will be dealt with by a large increase to the Anoat state governments' funding, combined with orders to increase civil services and improve local government powers. I also want several members of each of the more dissident factions on the planet to be offered support to run in the next election."

Fraktusk frowned "Yousa sure this be gooden? If wesa makes da angrey-men boss, they might us de powers for furthin der golas."

Regrad shook his head "It looks like that, but most of the public opinion polls and interviews with these dissident types reveal they're mostly angry about the loss of self-government. The Coalition is not supposed to control their government, so we need to clear up this misconception and not only make it clear but make sure the electoral process and the government is open to anyone. A feeling of powerlessness would otherwise be harder for them to shake, leading to dangerous disunity."

Fraktusk shrugged "Fair eenuff."

"What about the hunt for the GLF?" Said Meer "The CIB has a lot of information on them, looks like they might have some leads too. They're requesting a pretty big boost to materials budget to outfit for some of their missions. I don't think we'll be able to foot the bill if we're also going to spend more on Anoat."

"We can take the costs out of the shipyard downtime sales and ore from Nkllon we've got stored up. There's more then enough money if we know where to look for it."

"The subcomittee on Health Care just reported in" said Viren, holding forth a sheet with a look of satisfaction on his face "They've set up the required health-care purchases from the budget the finance committee wrote them, and there's enough to cover the hospitals and doctors, just about."

"See if we can't get some more safety room in that budget incase we need to make emergancy purchases." said Regrad, who let out a huge sigh and fell back into his seat "Everything's going fine for once. This makes a nice change from the usual-"

Suddenly, a horrified scream rose out from the middle of the room. Regrad and the ministers leapt up, and made their way through the crowd of representatives. In the middle it could be seen... that the buffet cart was EMPTY!

"I think I'm going to be sick" said Jan, who doubled over in horror. Meer stood there in slack-jawed horror, and Fraktusk had to cover his mouth to keep himself from screaming. Viren just stood there, I don't think he really got the significance.

"Whats' the big deal?" Viren said "So the buffet cart is empty."

"Don't you realize what this means?" Said Regrad, shocked at the flippancy of his compatriot "It means we won't have anything to eat! For the rest of the day! At all!"

The horror of this realization filled the room. Somewhere, off in the distance, a wolf howled.

The Coalition Representatives gathered in the main audience chamber. It was filled with graphs, charts, and stacks upon stacks of paper, from thick leather-bound voulmns to scribbled notes on napkins. Gathered around the center table was Regrad and the ministers (Minus Viren, who had some "important matter of government protocol to address. Something about equality, or socialism or something) looking bone-weary but satisfied with the patchwork final report assembled on their desk.

"Right" said Regrad, in the international voice of someone with something to say "Lets' review. The buffet carts' emptiness issue is at its' most dire at these times" he said, pointing out several dips on one of the charts "However, we had yet to take into account how the surplus food can be redisbursed and appropriated throughout the day to make up shortfalls later on. This was balanced by the freshness issues brought up by the food used in our kitchens, which means that trying to redistribute the food we already have wouldn't work.

"So then we tried to think of ways to lower overall food intake. Dieting is ill-advised as the whole purpose of this report is to improve our current comfort to standard levels, and dieting proves to be a most trying task, especially for those as occupied as ourselves. Decreasing the plate sizes in an effort to lessen the amount taken per serving sounded good on paper but failed in practice. One member suggested we just tried eating less." Regrad said with a sort of malice, and everyone glared at a smaller rep near the back "But if we did that the terrorists would have won!

"Now we bring ourselves to the inevitable conclusion that only by increasing the food levels can we ensure a constant flow into the buffet cart. So to this end, we have tried to calculate a new balance of the budget to account for the sort of food-increase we'd need to maintain our standards, however, all simulations found one or more budget defects in every scenario we ran, from discomfort from poorly tended seats to damage to the drapes causing irregular lighting on the sensitive eyes of the representatives from Fierre.

"So eventually, we decided that there must be a way to increase the domestic budget of the house. In an effort to do so we completely redid the annual budget, and although we accomplished a few small victories like public health care and a government-provided pension plan, these were mere detour from the main issue, which remained thoroughly out of our reach, until we visited the head chef."

Everyone then wobbled precariously as Regrad hit the button marked "Flashback" on the table.

The scene appeared. Regrad, Fraktusk, Jan, and Meer zoomed into view, only they were made of colored squares. They appeared to be in some sort of side-scrolling jungle. Ahead was a pool of water with a pair of crocodiles in them (Who happened to snap at the same three second interval). After a few unconvincing steps, they took turns hopping over the crocodiles while their mouths were closed. Jan got eaten, but luckily he still had two quarters and was soon back in the game.

They continued to a pit with convenient swinging vines. One by one, they swung over the pit, from vine to vine, to the other side, which was fortunately within their arbitrary jump distance. They walked further until they found a hole marked "Kitchen". The graphics returned to normal.

"Oh wise head chef" Said Regrad into the hole "Tell me, why does the buffet table lay empty?"

After several moments, a voice rang out from the hole. "The answer lies beneath the ground, where no evidence can be found! The food you seek shall be revealed, once a foe has been unheeled!"

"Unheeled?" said Jan "What does that mean?"

"Oh come on" said the voice "Its' not easy, rhyming."

There was the de-flashback effect, and Regrad continued. "And so, my friends, we have indeed found something beneath the buffet cart! Come and see!"

Everyone filed out of the room, and sure enough, when the buffet cart was moved, there was a huge, crude hole beneath.

"Strange things are afoot." said Meer, mysteriously.

"You're right" said Regrad "I better bring my gun."

"Listen" said Meer "We can't possibly let these ancient spirits STAY. For one thing they're eating our food and didn't have the good taste to get elected first. And for second, they are possibly the most annoying ancient spirits I have ever seen."

"Must be up against some stiff competition there." said Jan, one always for the easy jokes.

"Meer is right" said Regrad "We have to get rid of these spirits. They certainly don't look too tough. But if they're ghosts, what will hurt them?"

"Mesa have idea" said Fraktusk "Mesa have da powa of de force. Mesa can ussen de powa for moy-moy confusin d'others."

"um... A brilliant plan?" hazarded Regrad. After a couple minutes of weighing up how much could go wrong, he decided to put caution aside. "Whats' the worst that could happen?"