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STEP ONE - Surrender a lot! Give up! Run! Apoligize! Give them things! Then, declare a cease-fire!
The first step is to give up at all the battles. Surrender, stop fighting, run, whatever is nessecary to stop the fighting. Further fighting will only make for harder negotiations. Once the battles are over, a cease-fire must be negotiated between all parties involved in the conflict, so that the peace treaties can be discussed in a peaceful setting.
STEP TWO- Finish the merger, and as one faction establish official-like treaties with everyone who wants to attack us, and being prepared to give ridiculously huge repayments in return for ending the war.
I mean that seriously. We need to give away about a third of our stuff to ensure we don't get blown to bits. Also, perhaps a system could be created where assets traded in treaties could be "Bought back" for twice it's value. So if Farquak Junior was returned to the ORS/GC force, then we'd give them 2 planets in return, and so forth.
STEP THREE - rebuild our fleets, and gain more planets, using simple honest writing and time. No more wars while we do this.
No more fighting, ever. Just peacefully reconsolidate and keep quiet.
STEP FOUR - Rebuild our national image. Do good things. Stop warring with people, dammit!
No more wars! Be good for god's sake! Role-play a little! Lower the military, create more peace-efforts, help people, is that so hard?
STEP FIVE - once rebuilt, never go to war ever again!
No matter what. Even if we're just insanely and pointlessly attacked, just surrender and do what they say until they go away.