He remembered the first time it happened. He dreamed a dream of childhood minutia; an argument over a stipend doled out by the parents of his friends. Two boys wanting to spend the money on different toys. Young Andrew played the mediator; settling the argument in a mutually agreeable fashion. He thought nothing of the dream, until the fight broke out in his conscious life. Only he didn’t mediate. He merely contemplated in amazement and fear; fear at the new power he had discovered.
For the rest of his life, he was never truly in danger. He saw everything before it happened; accidents, assaults, it was all simply a matter of going to sleep. And when he woke up, he made the necessary adjustments to keep himself out of trouble. It was a very handy thing, to see the future, to dodge danger before it even happened.
It was also very boring.
It got to the point where Ahnk, at nine years old, realized it had been years since he had taken a risk. He had turtled; introverted, dodging any situation that he preconceived as potentially dangerous. He was a shell; empty inside, but safe. Ahnk then remembered something he heard on a holovid; that there was no point in living if you can’t feel alive. The young boy then made a decision.
He fought his instincts and shunned his premonitions. He began to live dangerously. He conditioned himself to ignore his dreams… they came, more vivid everyday, until Ahnk was able to develop his mental faculties to the point where he didn’t have dreams at all. The space between when he fell asleep and woke up was filled only with darkness. It was calming
It was a mistake.
If Ahnk had not fought what was happening to him, if he had not struggled against his emerging force sensitivity, he would have seen the murder of his parents. He would not have gone to the swamp that day; he would not have put them in danger; he would not have been shot. His selfish decision had had an unforeseen consequence. It had destroyed everything he had ever loved.
When Ahnk realized what he had done, he was filled with hatred for what he was, and what he was becoming. He realized that his mother had brought him to Naboo to become a Jedi; to train him into a warrior of righteousness, to mold his powers to a form of control and peace. He realized that in time, he would have been a Jedi, like her. He realized that in time, his dreams would have come constantly, even when awake, always telling him what he should do.
The only problem was that he hated the Jedi.
He refused to become a Jedi. To be taken over by a power he didn’t understand, a power that had ruined his life.
He vowed instead to destroy the Jedi. And the only way to destroy the Jedi, was to become a Sith.
Of course, in making such a choice, Ahnk had once again chosen the self-important decision to make his life easier. Instead of facing what had happened to him and dealing with it, he allowed it to turn him into personified hatred. Hatred at himself. The only way to satiate such hatred was to destroy everything about yourself, to burn it away, and start over.
Ahnk did that. He threw his collected self into the refuse. But when he was done, all that was left, was hate.
He didn’t remember his friends, or his family. He didn’t want to. Nor he could he. Hate had become his only friend. Hate was his accepting family.
Hate was what he was. All he was. And all he would be, for a very long time…
Her name was Aerith Johanason. She didn’t belong there; not that anyone did. But she was there nonetheless.
It was a cargo transport from the core to Yavin. Materials that Ahnk’s master, Exar Kun, had requisitioned from the inner core Sith governments. The girl had stowed away… seventeen or younger, and very lithe she came… hidden in a box of supplies and sneaking out when they were unloaded. When Ahnk discovered her, he attempted to dissuade her. He ignored her. He threatened her. When she showed an affinity for a repatriated animal, he killed it. But despite it all, she refused to run away. And then, slowly, he accepted her.
Exar Kun had gone with the Sith Brotherhood’s allies, The Marzullo Clan, in a conquest. When he left, Gwyneth Archer, Sith Lord Avery, and Xylon Hexrya went with him.
Archer never returned. Neither did Avery, or Hexrya.
And neither did Kun.
The only remaining student of a Master that was never seen again, Ahnk was left in limbo for several years. It would be ages until Master Zeta would come and only after that did Sarah Anderson and Bane Nothos arrive. Several people would come through the years before but none had come since Kun had left, but this one, stubborn girl.
Ahnk considered killing her, but if she was indeed dedicated then perhaps, over time, his guidance would wear off on her. So he kept her around, tolerating her minor annoyances, until one day.
One day, Ahnk decided to go for a walk. It was a walk he had planned for a long time. Somewhere, on the world of Yavin, buried beneath century old forests and rubble of long destroyed temples, was a vast underground city from ancient times. It was known as the Lost City of the Jedi. Ahnk knew that the Sith control of the world of Yavin and it’s moons was uncontested, so when Aerith followed along, he didn’t think anything of it.
Of course, he wasn’t going to be able to have that day. It was like a karmic law of the universe that the sphere of Ahnk’s influence could only ever serve to hurt… that day was no different.
Although Sith control of the planet was definitely never in debate for many decades, Ahnk was not the only Sith in the universe. Although he felt that way sometimes…
No, that day, two uninvited guests joined Ahnk on Yavin Four. Before Ahnk found the Valley of the Jedi, one of them attacked. Had it not been for the girl, it would likely not have been a notable situation. One Sith would have died, and with Ahnk’s mastery of the blade and force enhanced reflexes, he likely would have bested his opponent. But Ahnk now felt an attachment to the girl; he felt like her dark protector, the only one who could truly prepare her for the galaxy at large, the only one who could shield her from the justice all around her. It was, ironic, then, that the Sith immediately attacked her… and Ahnk found himself utterly incapable of shielding her at all.
After taking a blow with a heavy steel gauntlet across the nose, Ahnk dragged himself on cut and ragged hands to the edge of the stream. There, discarded, he saw the mask of his attacker… bent and broken steel, washed clean of tainted blood by innocent water. As he washed away his own tainted blood, the world continued to spin and his head continued to pulse in agony… the opening round of a concussion, no doubt. But through the haze he saw flashes of the fight… he was forgetting…
The girl.
He turned from the stream and ran, which may have been a bad idea with damaged equilibrium. He fell, several times, but stood immediately each and ran again. And then, he fell, one final time, and did not get up. He had fallen beside her body.
She wasn’t moving… not stirring, and only the faintest hint of her breathing was evidenced in her otherwise comatose form. He reached for her head, brushing back her hair, and turning it to the side. As he did, a red cascade fell across her simple white robes. And when he looked closer, he saw what had ultimately did her in. A simple rock, positioned innocently; fallen on with sufficient force to kill, and now coated with the blood and brains of the innocent.
He carried her back to the temple. Deep down, he knew she was dying, but he tried to save her. He tried to heal her with his limited knowledge of the force’s healing powers. He then laid her in the grotto, but it had no solution for the massive injury to her brain. Finally, he had no choice. He laid her in cryogenic stasis.
His hand stayed on the transparisteel casing for several days. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t bring himself to move… he began to turn and found himself unable to do so for many days. She looked, so peaceful… even with skin still stained with now frozen blood and rubbed rough with dirt, she looked calm, and most of all, innocent. It was then that Ahnk realized why he could not move.
Because he was lonely.
When she had first arrived, she had been an annoyance. She has pestered him and disturbed him during his meditation, but gradually, she became a welcome addition to what was otherwise monotonous, and empty dedication to a cause. A cause that may have died with Exar Kun, long overdue. Ahnk had promised to wait. He had waited, and when the girl came he continued to wait.
And suddenly, he couldn’t wait anymore. Because there wasn’t justice, that such a simple and harmless girl had been murdered. That while he waited people died, people he cared about, or once did, lay murdered… and he was waiting.
He couldn’t wait any longer.
Ahnk gave up waiting. Gave up being a bundle of hate and anger. No, from then on, he was a tornado of fury, a hurricane of his hatred, unleashed on anyone and everyone. Ahnk no longer waited for things to happen, instead, electing to kill until he felt better. He would continue killing for a long, long time.
And many years later, when the dust settled…
Aerith Johanason still sat there, frozen. Waiting for the world to be okay.
OS: In a world of bon-bons, you are a twinkie.
Ahnk: God damn you, I am Count Chocula and you know it.
I'm not spending my anniversary night thumping my head against the wall. - Damalis, on Moderating TRF
Then tell him you want it harder, damnit! - Ahnk, on Damalis