oh, and if the guy who drank 60 beers to piss his way out of an avalanche is a real man, then so is Lester :b
he was one of the first six men in the entire world to have a pig valve put in his heart just after WW2. He was a military lab rat. He lived to be over 90, was still getting pissed drunk on a regular basis, still chasing bar flies and would unstrap himself from his life support when he was dying of lung cancer to sneak down the hall and buy cigarrettes .. the nurses hated him with a passion, but they could always find him in the waiting lounge smoking.
Another classic Lester story...
He was living with my Grandpa at the time and my uncles, just teenagers, promised him a woman at their annual Halloween party. Lester, over 70 at the time, was rearing to go. The problem is they lied. They didn't have him a woman but they spent weeks mercilessly telling him they had him a woman and to be ready for it. Well Halloween night comes and Lester proceeds in classic fashion to get drunk on Everclear. He's beyond pissed drunk, as he will soon prove. One lady at the party, I loosely stress the word lady, got up on the bull barrel and did her best rendition of Sissy from Urban Cowboy, thus working Lester up to a wild frenzy.
Plainly desperate at by this time, and happily cruising drunken oblivion land, Lester tells the boys he's ready for his woman. Bring ON the woman!
The boys think it's hilarious when they tell Les he doesn't have a woman, that they'd been giving him a line of bull all this time. Well, Les wasn't having any of that. He turns to my uncle's friend, Bradley, who'd been the main instigator in the promising Lester a woman, and tells him:
"Boy, you promised me a woman and she ain't here. Your pretty enough to be a girl. Come here!"
Lester then proceeds to chase Bradley all over a five acre field trying to take him down and rip his pants off. Now, this the other boys found hilarious also, as they were not pretty enough to be girls. But when they all began to get uncomfortable enough to think he might actually mean what he says, they make him leave Bradley alone and had my Grandpa take Lester up to the house and try and sober him up. Before the night was through, Lester had stripped naked and flung his 100 pound bony body on the bar and was telling my Grandpa's wife he'd show her what a real man was....
So... if having 60 bottles of beer with you while going on vacation alone makes you a man, then Lester fits in there somewhere too :b
They never did find Bradley's belt buckle either...
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