She turned to look at Leia, her face impassive.
"Did you expect me just to sit there? Watch as your presence pretends to be fully there, when it's only half way there, concentrating or wandering on something elsewhere other than on me? I do not understand the need for such a mind game, just what were you hoping to achieve?.."
She paused.
"..Whenever you address me, my presence is fully concentrated upon you. I do that for many reasons, mostly because I respect you, and I value your time, and the things you have to say. If I am busy, I simply don't address you. Why? Because you don't deserve to have just a part of my attention, you deserve to have all of my attention when it is being given to you..."
A soft expression crossed Amalia's face.
"Perhaps if I was to only give you half on my attention, maybe you just might understand why it disturbs me so much not to have all of your attention, and only have part of it...."
Amalia grew very silent again, but her eyes still remained on Leia. She wanted Leia to understand, and she knew she probably wouldn't and couldn't find the right words to give to Leia.
A serious look came about on Amalia's face.
"A person's presence when compared to an object or a task, when giving attention to it, it's not the same. Feelings are involved with a presence, perhaps sometimes too when a task is involved, depending if it involves another person when accomplishing that task. Anyway, what I am trying to say is, an object or a task can't project feelings or be disturbed if you give it half of your attention. It may become unfinished, and it would suffer in that respect...but a person will have lasting impacts, bad impacts, if not corrected."
Amalia looked down at her hands, not trying to avoid Leia, she just couldn't look Leia in the eye, afraid that Leia wouldn't give her recognition.
"I've become so used to you being so busy all the time, that I've just learned to let go..because for the simple fact, even when you do have time, you're only half way there, granted, that sometimes can't be helped, it's just who you are. However, it's not fair, not when you seek my attention, and I give it all to you, only to have you give half of your attention in return. I stop what I am doing, why? Simply because a presence is far more important to me than an object or a task could far ever be. Such things don't take on such as great of a value as a person...Such things can be put on hold. I guess it all depends on what you value more, Leia."
She looked back up, shrugging, a look of tiredness on her face.
"I really don't know what else I can say that would make you understand."
Amalia really did not want to have to make the speech she just made. She was tired. She had wanted to just let go and not say it at all because she didn't know what it would mean to Leia. She didn't want it to be said and then not have it understood. She had figured out, that keeping quiet was alright, it didn't make her disappointed and no one could tell if something bothered her, unless she said something, even then, things were not always resolved or taken into consideration, so she didn't feel that it was always good for her to speak.
Amalia did something just then, something she had never done when in the presence of Leia. She stood up and she walked away from Leia. Not to spite her, nor to shame her, but because she needed to...For Leia, and for mostly for herself, giving Leia time alone to think of all that Amalia had said, and giving Amalia some time to confront her own feelings, alone.
