The Rebel Faction

VC Intel communiqué series 1929077
Dated 46.04.23
Subject: none specified

Dear Bathtub and Gang,
I’m so sorry for the delay, but my computer went and crashed the other day. I really do truly apologize. I may have trouble connecting for a while, but never fear, Soaprack is here.

According to reliable sources, repeat, very reliable sources, you should be looking out for some blue soon. We suggest a slow move to another hotel. The Scourge seems good; you may even get the room the Hairnet team had when they were there. Ask for room 580. They installed hidden security systems, so you’ll be able to move in quickly.

We have another contact for you. ShowerCurtain says that on the east east end of town you’ll find a small fish fry place. Use method five on them, and report verbatim via Floormat’s now secure connection what he says.

And, on Floormat’s connection, congratulate him for us, will you? He has done an excellent job where others would have failed.

Yours,
Soaprack

VC Intel communiqué series 1929077
Dated 46.04.25
Subject: none specified

Dear Soaprack,
Thank you for the early warning. We had to move fast, and accidentally left our luggage behind. Poor Floormat’s radio was with the forgotten items.

The reason I didn’t write before is that both Drain and Towel spent two days visiting the blues, while Floormat, Soap and I were hiding. We all managed to get to the new apartment. It’s quite spiffy, though not up to team Shower’s snuff. We’ll soon have it fixed.

The information we receive from the fish fry man has helped. You need to inform the Hairnet team that they need to prepare for a visitor. The local headcheese is getting concerned that his wax is going with some other block of dairy.

Also, we need more stationary. I’ve run out of my flowery one, and am left with this ugly wheat paper. You’d better have it changed.

Bitter,
Bathtub

VC Intel communiqué series 1929077
Dated 46.04.26
Subject: none specified

Dear Bathtub,
Quick note, avoid the mountains this evening. Quite important, the weather advisory says it’ll be stormy.

Concerned,
Soaprack

VC Intel communiqué series 1929077
Dated 46.04.28
Subject: none specified

Dear Soaprack,
The weather was very bad the other day. Drain didn’t take your advice, and went to the mountains anyhow. The rescue teems are out looking for him, but hope is slim.

The local headcheese is settling in, and despite our recent troubles, we have all gotten new jobs. You wouldn’t believe the amount of things you can fix with common rattail! I’ve learned twelve today, and my supervisor says I’ll learn how to patch an oil leak with wamprat tongue tomorrow.

Sad,
Bathtub

VC Intel communiqué series 1929077
Dated 46.04.30
Subject: none specified

Dear Soaprack,
Drain has been found. He died almost instantly from a boulder in the back. His head was crushed, and his back broken in five places. They say he would have felt the boulder breaking his back, before his head was crushed. From his posture, they determine he saw the rock, and tried to move. Drain never was a sprinter.

Things are going good other than Drain. Floormat says that team Hairnet had better be on the watch out themselves, because he’s looking now.

No, we did not look into birdbrain lubricant. I do know that human baby cream can be used to caulk bathtubs; did you know that?
Sad,
Bathtub.